Want Your Kids to Feel Like They Have a Family after Your Divorce?
You’ve heard the horror stories about what divorce can do to kids. Want to avoid the long-term effects for your children? Divorce can be a nightmare for parents, but it can have a negative effect on a child’s entire life. I’m not one for doom and gloom, but it is true that some divorces can cause life-long damage to children.
It’s hard enough for kids to watch their parents go through a hard time, but it’s harder when children don’t know what is going to happen to them.
When children are put in the middle of the biggest emotional struggle they could imagine - one between the two people who matter most to them in the world - it’s devastating.
Give Your Kids the Best Chance You Can
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Many kids come through divorces just fine. All it takes is parents who vow to put their kids first, and are very intentional about doing this.
Unlike most attorney or mediators, I have a condition that must be met before I’ll work with you. And that condition is that you must get on the same team with your ex-to-be about the well-being of your child(ren).
Because I’m a skilled divorce coach who’s also been trained as a therapist, I can help you understand the reality of what kids can and can’t handle. I can help you plan a transition that will work for your kids. Most parents get stuck because they’re scared. We can resolve the underlying issues that cause impasse. You’ll be glad to work with someone who’s creatively helped many parents successfully navigate this terrain before.
It’s Not Easy for Anyone
None of my clients have had easy divorces. In fact, I’ve never met anyone going through a divorce who had an easy time of it. Divorce is one of the hardest things you will ever encounter, and that is the truth for both the initiator of the divorce and the one who would have chosen to stay longer to try to work it out.
Yet, my clients do a great job for their kids, even though their own emotions are all over the place. Together, we discuss the issues. Together we work through the plans. Together we find good solutions to hard problems, and implement plans that work for everyone.
Scared to death you’ll lose too much time with your kids?
I hear you. This was my biggest fear and it’s the biggest fear of all of my clients. So far (knock on wood) I’ve been able to help all the couples I’ve worked with come to a solution that both parents feel good about.This is a very hard issue, but we’ll spend as much time as needed on it so that we can resolve it satisfactorily. I’m confident that you’ll be able to live with what we come up with in regards to your parenting time.
Afraid your ex doesn’t know how to parent as well as you?
Like any couple that has lived together, you have divided duties and chores, and surely some of these are in regards to your children. However, that doesn’t mean that either of you won’t be able to rise to new levels of competency in areas you have thus far not explored. At some point down the road, both of you will be able to own your weaknesses and even ask each other for help when you need it, but for now, my recommendation is that we identify any areas of concern so that we can focus on them in our work together. Most of my clients have pleasantly surprised each other in the first year after their divorce with the way they have each stepped up. Trust me on this.
Not sure you can be in the same room with your ex?
Whew. Do I know what you mean. I have felt the same way, and so have nearly all of my clients. I can’t promise you that this work will be pain-free, but neither will your next umpteen years of co-parenting. I can tell you that it will be much, much easier if we can co-create a positive picture for your “restructuring” family.
It helps tremendously if both parents can want what is best for the other if ONLY because that person is an important figure in the life (or lives) of your child(ren). You want your child(ren) to have two healthy parents, yes? So, let’s figure out how to help that happen. You both can be healthy and happy, and give that gift to your child(ren). I’ve seen too many couples come through this awful time and shine on the other side. I know you can do it, too.
Afraid your ex won’t keep your agreements?
Your trust has eroded. It’s understandable that you’d want to pull in the big guns to do some damage. However, I’ve been there, and can tell you that the repair job will be much worse and much longer if that’s the route you choose. Many of my clients have fired their attorneys after we’ve begun working together. They realized that they weren’t getting anywhere with people stirring up negative energy. You can try it if you want. But, when you tire of the fight, come see me.
As we work through the issues, we will explore each trust concern that arises and put together a plan for addressing it. We will address any concern that needs addressing in the parenting plan we’ll create. When you work with your co-parent in an environment of respect, the odds are much higher that you’ll each keep your end of the deal. Not so with edicts forced on co-parents via the legal system. The courts are full of those never-ending sagas.
I do advise that you each have an attorney review the parenting plan before you sign it. This is a safety measure for you both. Doing it this way, however, will enable you to work together instead of fighting each other the whole way.
Why I’m Different from Other Professionals
I am neither your run-of-the-mill mediator, nor your garden-variety therapist. I was inspired to do this work because of my own personal experience of painful divorce and my interest and education in healthy childhood development.
With a passion to help people stay out of the rat race of “the ugly divorce”, I founded Center for Healthy Divorce. Some snickered in the beginning, “What? The words ‘healthy’ and ‘divorce’ in the same sentence? Isn’t that an oxymoron?” But most couples come away from my office at peace with one another and with a fresh commitment toward healthy co-parenting. No one’s snickering any longer.
To read one family’s experience, click here: A Happy Dad
Ready to Get Started?
I offer a 15-minute phone consult at no charge. If you and your spouse are interested in pursing this unique approach to taking care of your child(ren), then you can schedule a 1 ½ hour appointment with me. My rate is $130/hour.
Call 303-443-0140 to set up either a 15-minute phone consultation or an appointment in my office. If, at the end of our first meeting, either you or I feel that we cannot reach our goals together, I will be happy to refer you to another professional who can help you.
Subscribe to My Newsletter